As a non-Catholic, it doesn't touch me as much that Pope John Paul II has passed away. However, he does seem like quite a figure not only in the Catholic world but on the world front. He was compassionate and yet passionate, not only about religion but about literature, apparently. In an interview which I watched yesterday, it was said that the Pope simply loved performing and that this whole life he has viewed himself as a performer and that his death was simply the final performance. And indeed, he died with dignity.
Having survived multiple illnesses and even an assasination attack it would have been wonderful to read about his life story. Sadly he will not be the one to write it, but i'm positive that there will be those, worshippers and non-worshippers who will record his journey. That might be something to look forward to.
On another note, it has been an extremely tiring week, and somewhat emotional as well. I discovered that I am not as good at multi-tasking as i have always imagined; I discovered that I am not as capable as others think I am; I discovered that in the midst of my positivity which I seem to spread to others, I feel somewhat lost. It is not surprising, however, that I feel this way. Caught up in a system which I do not embrace and even worse, having to be an instrument of this system, I feel depressed. It goes against every pore in my skin, having to be at the centre of the education system, yet be unable to actually educate. Someone once told me that the job satisfaction of being a teacher should far outweigh the stresses that come along with it. However, that person obviously does not have enough personal experience to understand that being a teacher is no longer just a job - it is a lifestyle.
Think about it: you don't only have to be a teacher i.e. teach, but you have to mother, inspire, correct, discipline, manage, administrate, attend meetings and etc etc. Where's the time for oneself? It's not that you have no time for others - your family, significant other, but where's the time to reflect? Nighttime is a quick affair, after marking and eating dinner, poof! you're off to sleep and dreamland. Then the alarm clock sounds again and poof! it's another gruelling day at work.
Do I sound like i'm whining? Well, too bad. It's just not my cup of tea and I'll have to whine to get through it or go bonkers. And trust me, I'm not the only one going through such torment. Other jobs can be just as bad, and the hours can just be as long as mine.... but find a job which requires you to have the heart to nurture, yet have the head to discipline and finally have the ability to inspire the young minds of tomorrow? I don't think you will be able to find many people who have the nature to willingly take this upon themselves. At least I am not one of them.
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