Washed out

I miss the beach. I've not been going there much mainly because weekends are spent catching up on sleep and going about other stuff.... e.g. meeting relatives and attending functions. I've reached a stage in my life where my friends are either getting married, getting pregnant or have stabilised somewhat. It makes me feel old! The thing is, my friends are quite young... and they have chosen their path early.

I remember when i was younger (say 9 or 10) i wanted to get married at 22. I'm now 24 and no sign of marriage in the distance... Have i changed my mind? Well, all i can say it's good to marry young Only if you have found the person you think you can spend the rest of your life with. It's hard to picture rest of your life but basically i think it means someone you love enough to spend 24 hours of every day with. How many people truly believe the sacrifices and compromise that goes on in a relationship, much less a marriage! I think i am only just beginning to understand the word compromise. Undoubtedly, it means giving in and taking sometimes - a balance. However, to what extent should one compromise without giving up what you desire?

Now I can say that i'm at the point in my life where I'm contemplating settling down - with my better half. However, it's a scary thought when i think about 'rest of my life' because you've got to be realistic. What happens when you see him and only him? Would you mind? And i ask myself that question - no, i dont! Is it only for now, though? Will i get sick of seeing him... I really don't think so. Many people think like me, plunge into marriage and after a while realise that that person was only a good companion for a certain phase in their life. After that, they seem to be totally mismatched. It's ok if there are no children but the moment children arrive... well it just gets a little more complicated.

That is why another of my childhood utterances was that if i should marry i will defintely wait at least a few years before the child comes. I'll definitely stick to that this time because it gives the couple a period of time to really learn to accept and love each others flaws, and learn to live with it. With the baby's arrival, the couple would then be able to concentrate on the baby rather than their flaws. Similarly said, when the baby comes too early, much of the er ren shi jie (two people's word) is lost ~ which could possibly lead to quarrels because of a lack of understanding/knowledge.

More childhood thoughts to come. Actually come to think of it, i haven't changed very much.