looking back and cleaning up

I resolved to clean my room and the house up today, after coming back from a missed appointment. It has been years since someone forgot an appointment with me and suddenly I was thrown back years ago.... when someone stood me up. Gosh, it certainly was years ago. Anyway, I came back and started clearing up the house and decided, maybe it's time to look at the ex's stuff and throw them out the house.

So then I walked to this box that held all his things and opened them up one by one and discovered letters that I had written to him a few days after we had broken up and all those blasted memories came flooding back to me. Surprising even myself, I started tearing, thinking of the things we used to do together. They were really special and unforgettable.

Have i betrayed my hubby by looking back down the years? Thinking about 2001 and the torture of having-yet-not-having-someone, while he's at work? The answer is 'No'. Definitely not. I really do cherish the love and life I lead now. Simple, happy and passionate all at once. It's the balance that I had always hoped to find, but found extremes along the way, which even more confirmed my need for a balanced individual who could still shower me with love.

Now comes the question - am i ready to throw those old memorabilia away and never feel those emotions again? The torrent of emotions which contrasts very sharply with the sense of happiness I have now? I think it wise to do so but the emotional me is thinking twice. Should I hide them in a little corner of my house, then dig it up when I just want to remember certain parts of my life? For believe me, without that experience, I certainly will not be married early. At least I think so.

Many a friend have asked me: Why did you choose to get married so early? Surely you could have waited? Sure, of course I could have. However, my answer to them was "I found the right man". What's there to wait any longer? It needed a severe knock on the head (i.e. ex relationship) to make me realize that passion alone cannot maintain a relationship; only a balance of passion and sensibility can do so.

Back to throwing away the stuff. Gosh, what should I do?